The JFK Full Send Surf Missile™ – Space Race Edition

£11.64

Ask not what your country can send for you—
ask what you can send for your country. 🇺🇸

Introducing the JFK Full Send Surf Missile™, the first and only personal watercraft classified as a strategic asset by NASA.
Half surfboard. Half missile. 100% bad idea.

Born in a lab fueled by espresso, patriotism, and leftover Cold War tech, this machine doesn’t just ride waves—
it redefines them.

Specs (Straight from the Oval Office):

🚀 Propulsion: Dual turbo-freedom thrusters powered by unfiltered Red Bull.
🦅 Top Speed: Classified, but confirmed faster than a congressional apology.
🔥 Paint Job: Red, white, and go-fast.
🎵 Onboard Soundtrack: Constant loop of “Fortunate Son” and Space Race radio chatter.
🎯 Navigation: Guided by the spirit of liberty, GPS optional.

Features:

  • Pit Viper HUD: Heads-Up Display in full wraparound glory.

  • Freedom Boost Button: Instantly adds 10 horsepower and 5 IQ points of bad decision-making.

  • Eagle Wing Fins™: Helps you “soar” even when physics says “bro, don’t.”

  • Launch Mode: Because sometimes you don’t surf the missile—sometimes you are the missile.

Perfect For:

🏄‍♂️ Patriotic water sports
🧨 Illegal backyard rocket launches
🍺 Guys named Chad
🛰 Moon-landing afterparties

Testimonials:

“I said ‘Send it to the moon,’ and it actually tried.” – Tanner, Lake Tahoe

“Hit launch mode and my shorts ripped in half. Worth it.” – Anonymous Hero

“NASA called. They want it back.” – Elon (allegedly)

Warning:

May cause mild time travel, increased thirst for freedom, and unprompted historical quotes.

🇺🇸 The JFK Full Send Surf Missile™
Because sometimes you don’t aim for the beach…
you aim for the stars. 🌕✨

Select Size

Please select Size

Dropdown

More details

  • Solid colors are 100% ring-spun cotton
  • Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
  • Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
  • Lightweight fabric: 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)

Size & Fit

Quality Guarantee & Returns

  • Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
  • Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.